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The Art Of Kissing

 

It’s true. Doing something very well can pretty much be summed up as an art form.  It takes patience, practice, commitment and communication to become one of the best in any field.  And if you haven’t figured this out yet, kissing is right up there on the list of what you want to be doing very well.   

It’s much more simple and organic than you might think.  Your mindset has as much to do with great kissing as your mouth does i.e. don’t rush!  If you’ve been with a lousy kisser, you’ll know exactly what I mean.  And if you’re worried you may be (or aren’t even aware that you are) a tongue-darting, face-sucking, throat-prober, I can only hope you are paying attention. 

First, while seemingly obvious, make sure you have fresh breath.   If you don’t ,then go get it.  No one enjoys any kind of disturbing scent emanating from their kissing partner’s lips - not smoke, residual wine or alcohol, coffee breath, etc..  It’s not sweet, and it’s not a turn-on.  I keep breath drops in my pocket for a quick refresher anytime. 

Now for the good stuff!  Lean in slowly, you don’t want to break a tooth or slam into any other facial parts.  It’s awkward and too easily avoided.  No rigidity here…graze your relaxed lips softly against your partner’s barely touching at first then adding pressure as the kiss deepens.  Take your time with this part don’t just force your tongue into their mouth.  It’s the buildup that teases and excites, while you get a feel for how you kiss together.  Barely part your lips and softly slide your tongue over and just past their lips ‘til you meet their tongue.  Here it's essential to keep it moist, but not sloppy wet - you're not kissing your dog.  Play around with this.  Again, softly, sensually, slowly at first.  You can build up to any pace you want as you get into a kind of kissing groove with one another. 

Use your hands!  Kissing involves the entire body and if you’re doing it well, you’ll feel it all over, believe me.  Hold your partner’s face in your hands.  Glide your fingertips through their hair then down the back of their neck.  Lean your torsos into one another.  Depending on what you both like and respond to, this touch can be softer or a little firmer, but always pay attention to how your partner responds to what you’re doing.  That’s your best gauge of their enjoyment level. Also, let them guide you in a different direction if there’s another technique they want to try.  This requires a give and a take, after all.  Be open-minded as you may discover something new and thoroughly enjoyable.

We are more than our lips.  Don’t neglect the ears and neck.  I reiterate, always begin with soft lips and a restrained tongue.  Just grazing your mouth over your partner’s ear and softly nibbling on their earlobe could drive them mad.  Don’t believe me?  Ask your partner to experiment on you. 

Remember these four things and you should become a stellar kisser in no time:

1. You are in this together 
2. Slow and steady before deep and delving
3. Kissing is an incredible way to begin to get to know one another and develop a deeper level of intimacy  
4. It is a lovely prelude of more to come

Written for Diamond Lounge professionals dating site.

 

About the Author

Arya Marafie is the Founder & CEO of the Diamond Lounge (http://www.diamondlounge.com) and CEO Lounge (http://www.ceolounge.com)

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